In this season, how do you deal with fear?
About the future, finances, career paths, board exams, entrance exams, new seasons in your life, health, what other virus could possibly appear, and so many other things.
Let me share with you a story of a night when God dealt fear with me.
I still clearly remember that night; it's still vivid. The darkness of the room, the flatness of the bed, the blank ceiling. I wasn't moving and trying hard to sleep. But I couldn't – it seemed like my body was resting, but my mind was wandering.
Not the good type of wandering, I was thinking so hard. As an individual who used to worry a lot, it wasn't new, "I worry sometimes; it's gonna be okay," I told myself trying to convince myself that “I” can handle this. But this time it was too much. It was different. It was deafening; it was pouring out and I couldn't handle it.
I opened my eyes, looked up to God, and tears started to fall. I prayed, but all I could utter was, "Lord, I am scared. I am so scared." my heart was crying out louder than my voice could ever do. I was breaking down silently, in my room, biting my blanket so I wouldn't make any noise.
Then, as I cried, I remembered a thing that a mentor (Pastora Krizzia) taught me once. She said, whenever you feel anxious, speak out loud. Tell God everything, all your worries, your doubts, your anxiety, your stress, your depression. Speak and rebuke it in the Name of Jesus.
I was skeptical to do so because it was 2 am, but I can’t take it anymore, so I did. Then I started to speak and told Jesus one by one all the things that I'm afraid about. As I was talking, I was crying, crying because of fear, because I was so afraid. I was not even sure why I felt that way in the middle of the night.
But as I was speaking, God amazed me because as I went on with my long list of the things I worry about, I got louder, and as I got louder, my tone changed. I wasn't crying anymore. I wasn't fearful anymore. My fear turned into conviction.
I was casting out all my fears with authority and confidence from the Lord. I was rebuking the spirit of anxiety, depression, fear, stress and other things. I was speaking as if they are all in front of me, I was pointing at them while I bind them in the name of Jesus and throw them to hell where they belong. Because I know for a fact that all those doesn't come from the Lord. I was shouting, eyes closed, a conviction in my voice, and confidence in my heart.
I don't know how no one, not even my mom, who wakes up so easily, called me out for shouting that night. My dad, who gets mad when I stay up too late, didn't even know I was having a “wow” moment with the Lord.
But one thing is what I am very sure about. God didn't give us the spirit of fear. Instead, He gives us confidence that comes only from Him.
The Lord wants to remind us that He is always greater than our fears.
After casting all my fears upon the Lord, I felt strong. I felt as if nothing can bring me down, and there is nothing I can't handle. I felt this peace rush inside of me and the comfort that embraced me.
I then slept peacefully like a baby, as if I wasn't extremely stressing out 30 minutes ago.
When I woke up, I fixed my bed and prayed to God. Sitting in my bed, eyes closed, my right hand holding my heart. As I was praying, I then asked God, why did I feel that way last night?
He revealed that because I was too busy tracking where I am in life, how am I doing, and comparing myself to others, that I lost track of the most important thing, the only thing that matters. My identity in Christ.
I was too occupied running the race of life, I forgot that Jesus holds my future. I was too busy stressing out with things that will not matter a couple of years from now, I forgot that the Creator can give everything I need and more. I was too busy trying to survive that I forgot Jesus overcame 2000 years ago.
This is how we get attacked by the enemy, when we forget our identity in Christ and when we forget who He is.
The Lord knows that we will feel fear at some point, we will be stressed somehow, we will be depressed at times, and we will be anxious.
But one thing is for sure, in those moments, in those seasons, He is there to hold our hand.
In Isaiah 41:10, God says to “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
The Lord is true to His words, he was, is and forever will be!
Let our response to fear be Isaiah 41:10, prayer and trusting God will all of our hearts.
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